Who DID put the C*** in Scunthorpe!?

This weekend gone, was due to be quite a fun one, a friends leaving party and an old mate came back, so we thought we would hit "Scunny" seems none of us had for a while.

To skip the irrelevant parts of drinking and banter, i bring you up to about 3am where, 8 middle aged blokes started on me and my friends, the result, a bit of a battering from both sides, just as we were about to leave they found us, so we HAD to retaliate just so we didnt get completely pummled (quite frankly anyone who stands and lets them do it needs to look at them selves!) NEVER THE LESS, i thought i would rant on about my home town of Scunthorpe.

If Maccy Ds are the chav’s staple diet, what does that tell you about a town that boasts not one, not two but THREE of these gourmet eateries (not to mention two KFCs and dozens of other even lower-grade greasy spoons)? When I first stumbled across Chavtowns, I was astounded to find that Scunthorpe had not already been nominated as the capital of the USA of Chav. Yes, Grimsby is bad, but Scunthorpe seems to have a higher population of chavs and pikeys crammed into an even smaller area. When I first moved here 15 years ago they were confined mainly to the Riddings and Westcliff ghetto estates – the Cheltenham and Gloucester of Scunny chavdom – but now they’ve seeped out into almost every part of town. Every day streets, which, although by no means “posh”, used to be at least relatively quiet and tidy, has become infested with dilapidated caravans and clapped-out Astras and Novas complete with photo-copied tax discs and populated with the standard issue loud-mouthed Burberry-clad, multiple-pierced, DIY-tattooed, sovereign-ring-wearing chavs and chavettes.

Other aspects of this pikey paradise: in addition to Aldi, Lidl and Netto we enjoy the facilities of two Home Bargains shops and two Poundstretchers, as well as numerous everything-for-a-pound one-stop crap-shops. Thursday is Ashby Market Day when chavs from near and far come to browse among the stalls overflowing with mobile-phone accessories, dodgy DVDs and cheap Burberry and Von Dutch knock-offs. Scunthorpe is not well-known for its nightlife – most serious drinkers tend to head off for Cleethorpes or Doncaster – but the more home-loving chavs can still spend an enjoyable Saturday evening getting bladdered in Love2Love, Light, or Schnapps Bar. Although after my experiences, Bamboogee seems to be the place to find little men who look like they carry sheep underneath their arm all, all sporting the same shirt from Tescos Cherokee clothing range.Up until that point, i hadnt been to Scunny since i was 17!

I live near Scunthorpe, I survived the plague by becoming a hermit.

In general, chavviness can be seperated via the colleges, North Lindsey is highly infected with chavs, wheras John Leggott only has a couple, as some of my (ex) classes are full of spoilt plastic "upper" class girls, who are annoying, but not infectious.

I think we finally know the answer to that age-old question: Who put the “cunt” in “Scunthorpe”?

Answer? Probably the same person who named a village Twatt.

The Invasion of the Orange....

First of all, thanks to Nathan dean, for introducing this! I can now rant on about things that generally piss me off in todays society...

So, i have been thinking of the things that generally do fuck me off, i do often think i should be on BBC's Grumpy old men.

And whilst having a good cruise around Facebook, i noticed this group:
Now usually, i think what the hell at most of these groups, but nowadays i cant help but think how relevant this is! So im at my college, walking to lesson and about half the girls who are still at school are caked in the stuff! Quite frankly it is discusting,

Looking back to a time when i was in year 7, and make up was about as rare as me suddenly turning black. Naturally, as we get older, lads explore stlyes with hair and clothing, as do girls with make up etc. 6/7 years on and times have changed as society has. Within two weeks of these girls starting school, they have orange masks, its almost like having a town full of David Dickinsons!


Now this an example, being the kind gent i am, i filtered there eyes out ( which i would like to addare like theyve had a round with Mike Tyson), ive no idea what the attraction with it is, but not only do we have the orange to worry about, but now these lasses are getting knocked up with 21 year old plus, its slightly worrying, gone are the times of being normal and civil but no enter a breed of the Slaggy Oompa Lumpas.
A friend of mine reffered to them as beautiful chocolate men, the first word maybe not so. But it astounds me how some parents let their blood go out as they do, and then we wonder why we have so many pregnant kids?
Stage 1: The make up
Stage 2: Going out to Town at 14/15
Stage 3: Meet a "Lad"
Stage 4: Baby
Stage 5: Sorry love, wheres your life gone?

It maybe a pointless issure to raise but it does piss me off, however let the little tarts get on with it, gives me more to write about!